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The Great Escape

If there’s one thing I find consistent in my life, unwavering, and resolved, it would follow suit with the important lesson to always have an exit strategy.  The escape plan is the key to survival when all else fails.  It is not an act of cowardice, but instead the hammering force of wisdom that has allowed the survival of entire nations in the scrolls of history.  You would never see Jason Bourne walk into a situation in which he did not have a way out.  You would never find a ninja that could not stealthily sneak away.  You would never know a time in my life since the age of seven where I did not have a way out of school or work on any given day, simply because I did not feel like going.  The art of faking sick is something that is timeless and essential to enjoying a quality life.
For those of you that are unfamiliar with the subject, faking sick is defined by telling your school or employer that you are not well, and unable to fulfill your duties as a student or employee, thus allowing you to stay home and enjoy a day of therapeutic relaxation, or whatever else it is that you want to do with your time.  Common arguments to faking sick are statements such as, “That’s why we invented the weekend.” It’s true that the weekend is there to allow us to recharge, but there are times when the weekend is not enough.  With the busy standards that we hold ourselves to, it’s even possible for the weekend to be more tiring than the work or school week.
Another protest to the essential art of faking sick might be, “You are lying.”  In a black and white world, yes, I would be lying.  Some theologians might disagree, but I find this to be a clear case where the greater good comes strongly into play.  This is not a “lie” that hurts anyone, and in fact, does just the opposite.  Schools and offices get the sick phone call, tell you to feel better, and are on with their day.  You get to stay home on a spontaneous day of vacation and cleanse your soul of the problems of life.  A spontaneous vacation is the best of vacation.
One thing that I find amusing is that the older I get, the easier it gets to call in sick.  When I was in second grade, it took careful planning to pull off a much needed day at home to play Sega Genesis and watch tv.  There was one time that I woke a few minutes before my parents normally woke me up for school, went into the bathroom, made gagging vomit sounds for a good two minutes, messed up my hair, and walked out of the bathroom looking like hell to let mom and dad know that they didn’t want to send their son to school that day.  However, I find that such creativity is rarely needed any more.  This past Friday I simply emailed my boss in the morning and told him I was out sick for the day, and that was that.  I didn’t need to put the thermometer under a hot lamp to fake a fever, pretend to have whooping cough, or talk in a convincing sick voice. 
I enjoyed my day off this past Friday, which allowed for a good three day weekend.  If you’ve become bound the stress of the work week with no time to breathe, I suggest that you take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself when was the last time you took a sick day for yourself?  Whether it’s been years or days, it might be time for another one.  Always have an exit strategy. 
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