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Like the Hockey Fan That I AM

Extremely gross thought of the day:

Last night I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.  It was a successful trip, but on the way back to my bed I had the misfortune to slam my foot into a suitcase that was on the floor.  The result was that I came close to taking off half of my big toe nail.  Sometimes when men get injured we think we can alleviate part of the problem by doing something else stupid.  In my case, I have an almost irresistible urge to finish the job because I don’t like that my toe nail is partially hanging on and I want to put it out of its misery.  Obviously, if I acted on this I would immediately regret it.  When I was 12 I came close to ripping off my braces on several occasions.  It always seemed to me that ripping those pesky metal brackets out of my mouth would make my teeth feel better.  It’s a good thing I ignore my impulses at times.

Trade Fail.:

I’m not a Trekkie by any stretch of the imagination (Urban Dictionary makes it clear that a Trekkie is a fan of more than one series).  I’ve never seen a Star Trek tv episode in my life, and I always thought the fans were weird.  However, I bought into the hype last summer when the new movie came out that was advertised as a Star Trek movie for non-Trekkies.  I went and saw it and thought it was a sweet action movie.  My wife has refused to believe that this movie could possibly be good and refused to ever watch it.  In a somewhat similar situation, my wife loves Pride and Prejudice (the Keira Knightley version), and I have refused to watch it.  At some point in time we made an oath that I would never watch Pride and Prejudice and she would never watch Star Trek.  This was a great agreement until she volunteered to watch Star Trek the other weekend and I agreed to make the trade.  I’m slated to watch the chick flick of all chick flicks tonight as a result, and this is one of the biggest trade failures of my life. A good trade would have been getting her to watch Braveheart or Saving Private Ryan, or some other high man points movie that could do nothing short of make her into a better person and better appreciate the objective good in life.  Instead she watched Star Trek, a mediocre action movie that I’m fairly indifferent towards.  Say some prayers for me tonight.  I’m hoping to watch 24 and get some good Jack Bauer violent fixes before I settle in for the estrogen massacre.

Perseverance Award:

I’d like to present the annual ANCS Perseverance Award to our very own, Lucas Hennessey.  The ACNS Perseverance Award is given out here to honor those who can endure true sacrifice and not waver in their steadfast dedication to a good cause.  Lucas recently decided to reduce technology in his life by deleting his Facebook account for good and deactivating his cool Google Droid phone.

Breaking News:

Oh wait, Lucas just friended me on Facebook with his new account, and is apparently excited about the new Droid OS release.  Perseverance Award revoked.  That lasted about as long as the time I joined a soccer team.  Okay, it was almost a week longer than I was on a soccer team so I’ll give you that.

Isolation:

I share blog writing with two guys who think hockey is an alien activity.  I’ll admit, it’s not as American as Baseball and Football.  I’ll admit that it’s not very American at all, which is odd cause I’m not a big Canada fan (I feel safe saying that as I don’t think we have too many Canadian readers).  However, it was the ONLY sport that I was ever half way decent at as a kid, AND I find it entertaining to see a bunch of dudes move around insanely fast in a coordinated manner and beat the living crap out of each other.  I think it’s the best live sport (subjective oppinion).  My team was knocked out of the playoffs so no more tweets, Luke Carey.  I do, however, need a new sport to follow for the summer.  Any recommendations?  I was thinking going with a classic American summer sport like Synchronized Running or Couples Beach Volleyball.  I’m up for anything at this point.

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