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LeBr(yawn) James

I read somewhere that the internet is fast becoming a wasteland of un-updated blogs & broken links. A dump, if you will. Instead of contributing to the problem, I have decided to be unique & create another problem – a stream of useless drivel designed to infest your brain & create a nest inside your head made from discarded cigarette butts, twigs, and old ring pop wrappers.

But seriously, let’s not kid ourselves. You hang onto every word I say like a farmer holds onto a greased pig.

Do you know what really grinds my gears? Lots of things. Lots of things really grind my gears. No use going through all of them, you’ll just get bored & leave.

For some reason, I haven’t felt the need to blog lately. Maybe it’s the hustle & bustle of Summer, maybe it’s the new-found commitment to the ol’ career, maybe it’s Maybelline. I don’t know if I’ll ever figure that one out. Except that I already know it’s Maybelline. Nobody has ever been sure that it’s Maybelline until now, but I know it for a fact. Enough with this “maybe” crap. It’s all Maybelline’s fault.

You ever have one of those days? I have never had “one of those days”. I may have lied & said I did, but I haven’t. Except for Tuesday, when I had one of those days that I thought it was Monday, and so I missed a softball game while I was preoccupied with eating green & pink freeze pops in my newly-carpeted basement while watching Hulu episodes of “American Greed”. That was one of those days, but I’m over it. Speaking of freeze pops, when I was a kid, red things were always the best, but not the red freeze pops. Red is by far the worst flavor. Here’s my ranking:

  1. Green
  2. Pink
  3. Blue
  4. Orange
  5. Purple
  6. Red
  7. Yellow

When I made that ranking, I remembered that I had a yellow ice pop once, and it tasted like someone ate a bucket of asparagus, peed in a plastic tube & then froze it for my “enjoyment”. Red catches a break.

So, Bill moved out this week. It was a sad day in my house. I gave it a day before I decided to throw a party in his “honor” – a luau if you will. There’s some negatives, like not being able to split the bills with anyone & not having someone to make me dinner or wash the dishes, but there’s also some positives – like having enough toilet paper in the house…or not having to deal with the basement light always being left on. It’s ok, I know Bill will read this, and I don’t care. He knows. HE KNOWS.

Anyway, it’s the end of the day. I’m going to go home, crush some freeze pops before I mash at my softball game. It is Thursday, right?

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