February 15, 2011 1 comment

I might be crazy, but I still love this city.


Image from this post on Art of Manliness

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: ,

Cincinnati Culture

February 12, 2011 1 comment

Growing up, there wasn’t much of a music scene in Cincinnati. Good bands never came here, musicians never came from here, and the culture was moving away from the downtown area and sprawling out into the suburbs. That sprawl may have made Cincinnati a “Great place to live“, but mostly bland, especially for a city with so much cultural history.

In the past couple years, I’ve seen this city transform itself from one with little cultural identity to one that embraces its roots in authentic American culture with a resurgence in local farming, the growing presence & popularity of roots music, and great beer. The past 3 weekends have been filled with fantastic live music that I’m not sure is available anywhere else so readily. Lump all these things in with a winning baseball team, the best food in the world, and my presence, and you’ve got a recipe for a good time.

I saw the Tillers last night, and I’m pretty sure they get better every time I see them

Nerdy Ohio

January 27, 2011 2 comments

Ohio sucks. I mean according to this chart, we go to libraries more than any other state per capita. This sucks! I’m so ashamed. I mean, at least we could be as cool as Iowa. Yeah old people!

I don’t think that Ohio actually sucks. I’m really surprised that whoever came up with that chart really couldn’t find anything worse about Ohio than the fact that we’re nerdy. They could have brought up the fact that we have no jobs, or our football teams are perennially embarrassing, or that Jerrry Springer was once the Mayor of Cincinnati. Instead, we’re nerdy. I’m almost mad that they couldn’t come up with anything worse.

In all reality though, Ohio is for Lovers.

You know what’s funny? DC drivers. They got like 6 measly inches of snow, and subsequently my Facebook News Feed was filled with status updates of people stuck on the highway, taking snow days from work, and complaining about having no food. I guess I’m not one to talk too much, because Cincinnati freaks out every time we have snow, but in my defense, you won’t find me complaining about snow. In fact, I get excited about the prospect of driving in terrible weather.

Man up, DC.

I saw this comparison the other day of Shanghai in 1990 vs 2010. It’s a much bigger difference, but it made me think of this comparison of Cincinnati from 1987 to 2009. I may have posted that before, but it’s worth posting again. It makes me think of when I moved to Cincinnati from Florida. Those were good times.

A Modest Pear


If there’s anything that the Toy Story movie series has taught us, it’s that inanimate objects come alive when we’re not around. I put a camera in my kitchen to prove it, and here’s the proof. Ok, I didn’t do that, but you get the point. I had to come up with some reason to post the link. See how they made the cleft in the pear look like a butt crack? I thought that was funny too. You’re a perv.

So if you’re a guy, you know how awkward it can be when picking a urinal in the men’s bathroom. Here’s an example of what’s wrong. Actually, picking a urinal isn’t that hard. The concept is really based on avoiding being in close proximity to other men while using a urinal. As the ICBE notes, you should always avoid trough urinals too. Trough urinals are gross. They have them at the Indy 500. Bad idea.

I miss Reds baseball. I spent 20 minutes today reliving highlights from the 2010 season just to get my juices flowing. Apparently it’s only 63 days until Opening Day. 63 days is too long. Baseball should be year-round.

Ok, I’m done for the night. Peace homies.

Manly Things

January 25, 2011 3 comments

Manly? I think so.

Last post, I wrote about my desire to ruthlessly and humanely trap a rabbit and eat it. The idea hasn’t stopped there. It’s only fed my desire to experience manly things on a daily basis.
The issue is that there’s roadblocks I have to overcome before I can accomplish these things. Here’s what I’m thinking about, what’s holding me back, and how I’m gonna get moving on these goals:

Home-Brewed Beer
In recent months, I’ve become quite the craft beer enthusiast. I want to start brewing my own beer & actually become good at it. There’s such a rich brewing history in Cincinnati, and I’d love to join the club. Here’s what’s holding me back:

  • I have no idea what equipment I need to start
  • Walking into a brewing store & buying everything all at once would make me feel like a total n00b.
  • Brewing alone just seems wrong.

Ok, these things don’t seem like large obstacles to overcome, but in all reality, the idea of brewing alone is kinda boring. Maybe it’s my extraverted personality or maybe it’s my perception of the way things should be, but brewing beer seems communal. I’ve come up with one solution to all of my issues – find someone who already brews their own beer, and learn the ropes. My brewing-accomplished friend Jeremy has already agreed to let me brew with him. Goal #1 planned for 2 weeks for now.

Straight Razor Shaving
Everyone knows about The Art of Manliness already, so I’ll spare the introduction. I was inspired by this post to work on my “manliness factor”. Here are my roadblocks:

  • Cost of entry
  • Having to wake up earlier to shave
  • Fear of killing myself

I have issues spending $12 on a 4-pack of razor cartridges, and I also have commitment issues regarding the purchase of everything needed to even begin straight razor shaving. If I’m going to buy everything needed to start, I damn well better be shaving with that straight razor for a while. It’s like joining a gym or getting into a relationship – scared of the investment because I don’t think I’ll be interested in a couple months.

I don’t know how I’m going to overcome these roadblocks other than a spontaneous desire to be extremely manly. It’s happened before & it’ll happen again. We’ll see what happens when this all goes down. I’ll keep you in the loop.

Buying A House
It’s not settled by any means, but I’m in negotiations to buy my house. For those of you who don’t know, I live in the house where my dad grew up, and it’s been on the market since July of last year. When the house went on the market, purchasing it wasn’t anywhere near the forefront of my mind – not because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t afford it. Somewhere in-between then & now, I paid off some debt, learned how to budget my money, and got a nice raise at work. I’m hoping I can buy the house by May of this year once we settle on a price. What’s holding me back?

  • Commitment
  • Lack of a wife
  • It’s a mile from my parents’ house

Let’s attack #3 first. It’s not that I don’t love my family, I really do. It’s that I’m a living stereotype. I live in the house where my dad came of age, I’m most likely going to buy it, and it’s a mile from my parents’ house. This is typical West side Cincinnati behavior. If I had only gone to Elder High School, I would be on the cover of “West Side Cincinnati Magazine” (doesn’t exist). I can get over this issue, because I like living here. The house has a sweet bar in the basement – what more do I need?

Commitment to a house is a difficult thing. The idea of a 30 year loan is daunting, as well as the idea of being in debt for years to come. However, the housing market has made this house affordable enough for me to buy it within my budget, and I don’t think I’ll find a house with as much character for the same price.

Lack of a wife is probably the #1 reason why I shouldn’t buy a house. I think it would be awesome to get married & have a new beginning in a new place with a wife, but since there’s no “wives on the horizon” or no ladies “knocking down my door”, it’s as good a time as any to strike while the iron’s hot.

Oh, I also got my taxes done last night. It’s not even February. BOOYAH!

Anyway, that’s my 800+ words on what I’ve been thinking about lately. I leave you with an awesome picture sent to me by my friend Big Al. Until next time…

This picture makes me cold.

Categories: Uncategorized

Lucas vs Wild

January 6, 2011 1 comment


A Tasty Rabbit Carcass

I think I watch too much Man vs. Wild. Today, I had this super-strong impulse to go camping for a week and kill my own food. I bet I could kill all sorts of things – you know like whole boxes of pop tarts or 12 packs of beer. Seriously though, I want to see what a rabbit tastes like. Maybe I’ll go camping sometime in April – I’m thinking maybe on the Sunday after the full moon following the northern hemisphere’s vernal equinox – It’s only appropriate. Maybe I’ll cook that rabbit up with a side of hard-boiled eggs.

Occasionall, I get to talk to people who only speak French. It’s quite awkward since I don’t. Every now & again, I run into a Frenchie who speaks English as well. I’ve decided that one of my favorite things is to hear French speaking people speaking English & cursing up a storm. I don’t know if they realize how hilarious they sound. Speaking of French people cursing, do they say “pardon my English”…when they curse? Lamest. Joke. Ever. Sorry.

Yeah, I know you’ve probably already seen this, but it’s worth sharing. I wish I had his voice.

So, the movie “2012” has been showing up as a suggested movie for me to watch on Netflix, and I haven’t been intrigued enough to watch it yet, so I figured I’d leave it up to the million people who read this blog daily. What do you think?

One thing I have been watching is “Undercover Boss”. I have to admit, I stopped the one about White Castle halfway through the episode to go get some White Castle, and in no way do I regret that. I do regret that Hot Pocket I ate on Friday night though. Good Lord, that was terrible. I think I’ll make myself another right now and go to bed.

Christmas Reflections

December 22, 2010 1 comment

Things I discovered today: I could eat an entire thing of Cool Mint Oreos in one sitting if I wanted to. It’s not even a question of if, even though I haven’t actually done it, but a matter of: “When will I let it get to that point?”.

During the Christmas season, I usually like to reflect on the things that I’m most thankful for. Of course, there’s the yearly staples like a great family & wonderful friends, but I’ve realized there’s some small things in my life that brighten my day whenever they happen, and it’s when you don’t have them that you most appreciate them.

Steve The Cat usually greets me at my car when I pull up to my house. Last night was different. He was far more engrossed in the mouse he caught and was beginning to eat. I heard the mouse bones crunching in his jaws as he gnawed on recently-warm flesh, but not before he growled at me for daring to approach him while he was feasting on the spoils of his kill.

It was then that I was truly thankful for the love he shows me when he’s not violently hell-bent on satisfying the carnal urges to kill that pervade his feline instincts. As an ailurophile, it really put me in the Christmas spirit.


You know what else puts me in the Christmas spirit? Hilary Duff.


So what do you guys want for Christmas? I’m talking simple, down to the core materialism here, people. A new Xbox? YESSSSSS! A big screen TV? SCOOOORE! A full set of Beanie Babies in mint condition? HUZZAH! HUBBA HUBBA HULLABALOO!

It’s the unbridled passion for getting as much stuff as you can that makes me love this time of year. The only thing that can bring me down is when people give me gifts I hate, or when they’re really slow and in front of me in the store aisle. I mean WTF?!

Obviously, I’m just kidding. In all seriousness, I couldn’t tell you what I wanted for Christmas. I now know what my dad meant when he used to say all he wanted for Christmas was peace & harmony in his home. I think that’s all I want. I want peace & harmony among everyone I know for Christmas. The problem is, that’s probably too expensive in terms of sacrifice, so I’ll probably end up with a box of chocolates or 7, or some other presents bought from Walgreens the same day it’s given to me. Tis the season!


I linked to makeuptalk.com in this post.

December 20, 2010 2 comments

Every time I blog it’s the same thing. I start every sentence the same way, I get a few sentences deep, decide that I hate it, and then start writing again. Most of the time it doesn’t end up in an actual post. Maybe that’s why this place has been dead since the beginning of November. Get over it, Lucas. Write what you feel. Don’t worry about what people think about your blog – after all, this space is all about me, not you. Maybe I have image issues.

The truth is, I’m actually quite bad ass. I did all my Christmas shopping in one night. It’s a good thing I did, because I think I might have to go to confession for the things I say about my fellow shoppers under my breath. They’re slow, unaware of their surroundings, and they’re just like me. They procrastinated until the last possible minute to buy gifts, and realized that Christmas Eve is only 4 days away, so they better go buy some useless stuff for people because materialism is what Christmas is all about. Christmas is also all about telling people how awesome you are. Obviously, the Christmas spirit is dripping from your browser window as you read these words.

Greatest gadget I own? My new Roku XD/S . I get Netflix, Hulu Plus, Pandora, and a bunch of other internet content on my TV. It’s portable, wireless, and HD, and I’ve already gotten a ton of use out of it. My only complaint is that Hulu Plus still has commercials & I have to pay for it. We’ll see if it lasts after my one month free trial is up. I highly recommend a Roku though. Seriously.

You know what else I recommend? A bit of fashion sense for people. I try not to let my “fashionista” side come out too much in my writing, but some things must not go un-noticed. The newest trend for high-school girls? Ugg boots & sweatpants. It’s not just the combination of the two, but the fact that it’s now a specific look. Roll up that waistband, tuck those sweats into those ugg boots, throw on a pink hoodie, and you’re good to go – NOT! Makeuptalk.com (my favorite site) has a forum thread devoted to the topic, and I’ve always said – if you have to ask if something is ok or not on Yahoo! answers, then chances are it’s not ok. And this is pretty much the worst site ever.

That just about wraps up my blog post about absolutely nothing. I’m serious. I covered my blogging habits, finishing my Christmas shopping in one night, my Roku player, and Uggs & sweatpants. Seriously, biggest waste of space ever. Maybe one day I’ll write something worth reading. Maybe one day people will actually read A Cat Named Steve again like they used to. Maybe this, maybe that. This place is dying, and I’m only killing it further. Until it’s completely dead, I’ll keep milking it for all its worth. Merry Christmas.