Christmas time is here! There’s nothing I like to blog about more than providing a good list of seemingly pointless observations. Not in a super gay Julie Andrews sort of way, but these are a few of my favorite things in no particular order:
1. Christmas Trees – I’m not a tree hugger, so chopping down a tree that you get to stand up in your living room and drape with the currents of electricity, and lights, and other random objects, until it is dry and dead by New Years is pure genius. Sitting in that room at night with no other lights on than the Christmas Tree is awesome and magical. You know you agree with me despite the fact that I just used the word magical.
2. Candy Canes – They are my annual fad that always comes on strong and leaves in a hurry. Every year I get myself psyched up to devour a countless quantity of these delicious sugary cane-shaped red and white mints. They get old when I rediscover that there is no logical way to eat a candy cane in an efficient manner that doesn’t leave me with sticky fingers, or as I realize that candy canes take too long to eat before I feel the need to chomp them into bits and ruin my perfectly cavity-free teeth. Even though they are short-lived, I am always pumped when I get my hands on a candy cane for the first time every Christmas.
3. Other food in general – Thanksgiving is an excuse to eat a giant meal. Christmas is an excuse to over-eat good food for a solid month. If anyone complains that you are eating too much, you simply tell them about your sweet New Years resolution coming up to hit the gym and all is forgiven.
4. Christmas movies. In particular I would say that I am a big fan of Will Ferrell’s, Elf. I am also a big fan of Santa Claus is Coming to Town because it has a lost penguin from the south pole, and because the bad guy is called the Burger Meister Meister Burger.
5. Santa Claus hype for kids – To all you deprived people out there that have no soul, and think that you were better off because your parents didn’t “lie” to you about Santa Claus, and that you supposedly had a more enjoyable Christmas childhood: you are wrong. (Disclaimer: not a replacement for the birth of Jesus) Santa Claus as a kid was the most exciting and awesome thing ever, and it wasn’t that earth shattering when I found out the truth that he wasn’t real when I turned 17. There is no greater hype than to wake up Christmas morning as a kid and wonder if the big man defied the laws of physics and came to your house, down the chimney, and loaded you up with a plethora of toys. I sadly don’t get to experience this excitement any more, but I’m better off for having gone through it. For the record, I was 8 when I found out there was no Santa. Damn you, Christina Fleury, for breaking the news to me. Nobody ever liked your gloating negativity.